How to have a great marriage even if money is tight.

Matthew 6.
²⁵ “For this reason I say to you, ^[n]do not be worried about your ^[o]life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?

Today is the 82nd anniversary of my mother and father’s marriage.

They moved to their reward over ten years ago, but their way of life with each other is not forgotten by me. They had come from families that were loving and committed to God and each other, but far from perfect. Each their families had experienced disappointment and failure.

Their first date was on October the sixth, 1932. Mom wrote in her diary,

“On Sunday, September 30, 1934, we drove to Windom in the afternoon and J.E. Luttrell married us in his home, which was back of his meat market. We didn’t take anyone with us. We stopped on the way at Mama Wood’s and she gave her blessings. Mrs. Luttrell, her daughter, Lonetta, and her friends, Irene Jacks and Iva Jo Smith, came in and heard our vows. I knew all of them but Wayne didn’t.”

They did not believe that a big wedding was necessary for a successful marriage. They did believe that plans for the wedding and family life would be enhanced by letting people know of the plan to be married.
I remember that they started out their marriage with nothing much of a material nature. From mom's diary.
“We bought a used bedroom suit for $35, two pair of bed springs and Mrs. Wishard bought is a mattress.”…”We came back to Mama and Dady’s and on out to Mrs. Wishard’s and Bob brought us back to Mama’s. We had used Mrs. Wishard’s car.
We stayed with Mama and Dady until Tuesday morning and we walked to Mrs. Wishard’s. That was our honeymoon trip.”

They went to church regularly. My earliest memory of the congregation was that the men sat on the left and the women and children on the right with an aisle down the middle.  This changed at some point and they family sat together. They attended a church, the Oak Ridge Church of Christ,  that focused attention on the worship of Jesus Christ.  There were acapella sings like Amazing Grace and the Old Rugged Cross.   

The weekend preacher who was also a farmer or butcher in a meat market would deliver a lesson that demanded that people obey God. His principle points were derived right out of the King James Version of the Bible. The better preachers had some good stories to illustrate or a chalk board for drawings. He was trying to persuade people to turn their life over to God. Then were would be an invitation song for people to respond and give their life over to God through baptism or a prayer of rededication.  They had the Lord’s Supper every Sunday where a man carefully uncovered a small square table where sat a couple of snuff glasses of grape juice and some crackers.  The elder would fold up the white cloth in a certain way.  He would then place it beneath the table carefully.  He would then pray a blessing for the bread and “fruit of the vine.”   

 Then there would be an exit and some of the elders had a cigarette on the front steps and some put in chewing tobacco.  The women would be talking about the latest gardening and canning projects.  They men would be talking about the weather and harvest and how the crops and cows were doing.  At times there would be a dinner on the grounds, under the tabernacle.

Some of the religious traditions were strange and unique and some were common to most of the people in the world.  Some teachings were mysterious and beyond our understanding and some of the teaching just made good common sense.  All was a matter of walking by faith and not by sight.  Hope was put forth in every situation including funerals.

There were times when the children failed to live up to what was expected.  Families were disappointed, but the church tried to support the family and look for the recovery through grace and mercy.  No one was thought to be beyond the mercy of God.

Elders and the elderly were to be honored and respected.

The goal of raising children was focused on helping them to grow up strong and wise.

Times of failure were not considered as final.  Overcoming and learning was the long term goal and the adults never gave up on the children and teenagers or adults who had fallen down. Grace and mercy was to be received and passed along.  Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us was a common phrase repeated in prayer over and over.

Children from babies to adults who came back home to visit were welcomed.  Home was made to be a warm place. A place of joy and encouragement and peace.  It was a place of hard work and a place of peaceful rest.  When the children left home they came home on weekends and vacations.  The grandchildren loved to come and sit on the front porch swing.  They loved to fish in the pond and ride the horses.  They loved to help plow up the potatoes and harvest the beans.  

I remember my mother and father’s marriage and family life as a great joy in my life.  Have I forgotten the bad and hard parts.  Yes.  Have I emphasized the best parts.  Yes.  But I have now lived almost seventy years.  I have seen similar things in my wife’s parents were married sixty four years and my parents made it about the same. 

Marriage can be a great beginning for a warm place to live and raise children who are healthy and resilient. 

Happy Anniversary to Wayne and Cora Sue Wishard.  I still look forward with hope to being with you again when my own work here is finished.

Larry Wishard

9.30.16

 


This simple life without anything material did not limit them regarding their own belief that life could be enjoyable and the family could make an impact on their surroundings and beyond.

Proverbs 15:16
Better is a little with the fear of the Lord Than great treasure and turmoil with it.
Proverbs 15:17
Better is a dish of vegetables where love is Than a fattened ox served with hatred.
Proverbs 15:17
Better is a dish of vegetables where love is Than a fattened ox served with hatred.
Proverbs 16:8
Better is a little with righteousness Than great income with injustice.