7.29- The Summer prior to my marriage. A big turning point was July 17, 1967.

 7.29-

The Summer prior to my marriage. A big turning point was July 17, 1967.

55 years ago today. I was planning to get married in a few weeks and I was a bit overwhelmed with all of the preparations. Sheila and I will hopefully celebrate 55 years together on September 1 of this year, but the summer was a bit scary for me.

I am not a person who does well with big decisions and who you will marry is one of the biggest decisions a person will ever make. During the summer we had planned to be together but the jobs we hoped to have in the same city did not materialize. We decided that this was best in a way because we could enjoy a final summer with our own families in our own communities.

I begin to think of what I really needed to help me be the kind of husband I wanted to be and it was daunting. Looking back I needed several things to help me have a good marriage. I met with a minister friend for some counseling and was blessed with a surprising "be still and know that I am God" moment with him.

One. Forgetting the past while appreciating and learning from the past at the same time. In my opinion, there is an element of selfishness in all humans. But selfishness as a romantic partner will destroy a relationship. I needed grace and mercy applied to my past selfishness and I felt that God and the people around me seemed to be willing to extend this to me. I had a fresh start as I approached my marriage.

Two. Overcoming fearfulness. From the models of marriage that I had seen, it was clear that the husband needed to be willing to defend and protect his wife and family even at the cost of his life. Through the help of the Good Lord and my family and friends in my home community I was bolstered to believe that I could be as strong and fearless as I needed to be.

Three. Abundant joy in friendships was something that I needed to celebrate in the summer prior to my marriage. My cousin, Joe Wishard, had been my best high school buddy. We had played football together and attended all classes in elementary, middle school and high school together. This summer I was able to be with Joe a lot and my other cousins as well. They welcomed me back into their friendship after having been gone off to college for three years. We played tennis, went to various activities and worshipped together on Sunday. It was a celebration of our abundant life together. Good family life is enhanced by marriage, but single people can also be a part of a great family life.

Four. Free to be myself. This quality of life has been necessary for Sheila and me in our marriage. She is city girl. I am country boy. She is details. I am broad strokes. We are yin and yang as they say. We have very different interests and educational backgrounds. I was blessed in the summer to have a conversion experience into being myself and not overly worry what others thought of me.

These four things I started seeing clearly as a gift from God to me in that summer. Today I remember again what this summer meant to help make our marriage such a joy and blessing. Thank you to God and all my family and friends who live in my home community of Silver City, Oak Ridge, Bartley Woods, Pecan Gap and Ladonia, Texas. I love you all.