2.11.18- A tribute to my father in law, Ralph Self

2.11.18

If Ralph Self had lived till his birthday this year he would be 94.  I found this tribute to him today.

Ralph Self

1924-2011

Those dates will be on the marker. As has been said before, the important part is not the date, but the dash between.

Ralph was a good steward of resources. He grew up in the cotton fields of Red River bottom land. His dad was an immaculate farmer. He managed to raise a family as a share cropper and had money to buy a new 1929 Chevrolet. From this example, Ralph learned to be a hard worker and expected to succeed. From the farm days to his retirement from Arco in 1982 at the age of 57, his work was near the top of his list of important matters. He was called the “heel man” at work because as a manager of men, he was always at their heels.

In his adult life he had two things that were more important than work. His God and His family.

When Sheila started to ask questions about God, his view was that nothing was more important to her knowledge of God than his example. He began to study and became a member of the church of Christ. He was a Bible man. He didn’t want man’s answers to things. He wanted God’s answers. Because of his integrity and quiet wisdom, he was often sought out as a resource for counsel.

I have known Ralph for 45 years. I have been in close proximity for weeks at a time. I have seen him in the most difficult of situations including intense suffering and death. I never heard him say a curse word or a slang word. That is what I would call being careful about words. Paul once wrote that we should “take every thought captive”.

He was completely loyal to his wife, Gladys, for 64 years of romance and marriage. They were the ultimate sweethearts. He took care of her for several years after she had dementia. He was with her to the end. He raised two kids to be independent and able to make it on their own. Both Stan and Sheila have been very successful in school and work due to the example of his work ethic. They loved their dad dearly. He had totally invested in them and they also invested in taking care of him. Stan did a great job of caring for him for three years after his mom’s death. In March Ralph was moved to Aurora. We are thankful that this move included many of you getting to know him and he found out why we have loved being in the SE family.

Ralph was not a perfect man and he never claimed to be. He would always make it clear that his life was not what he thought it should be. He was constantly asking God for forgiveness in his prayers.

He made his final move on Sunday, October 23, 2011, at 4:30 AM through God’s mercy and grace.

His house that Jesus had been building was finished and Jesus took him home as promised. We rejoice in Ralph’s victory.

“Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.” (John 14:1-3)